What is the defining question that someone who would be a disciple of Jesus must answer? Jesus’ interaction with Peter in John 21:15–19 points us to the answer.

In John 21:15–19, we see one of the more memorable scenes in all of Scripture—the risen Jesus restoring Peter. Recall, Peter had denied Jesus three times at the most critical time of Jesus’ ministry, the cross. The cross defines Jesus as Messiah, the Messiah that Peter was dedicating his life to. And at his Messiah’s defining moment, Peter abandoned and denied him. Now, on the shores of Galilee, the resurrected Jesus, having sought out Peter, sits down with him and some of the other disciples in order to restore him. Peter denied Jesus three times, and so, after breakfast, Jesus fixes his gaze on Peter and three times asks him a critical question: “Do you love me?” (John 21:15, 16, 17). Before considering this question, it might be helpful to consider what Jesus did not ask Peter.

• Jesus did not ask: “Simon, son of John, do you know me?”
• Jesus did not ask: “Simon, son of John, are you sorry?”
• Jesus did not ask: “Simon, son of John, do you want my forgiveness?”
• Jesus did not ask: “Simon, son of John, will you follow and obey me?

Each one of these questions is not necessarily a wrong or bad question. In fact these are appropriate questions to ask given Peter’s sin. However, they are not the ultimate question, that is, they do not get to the heart of what it means to be a disciple of Jesus. All of these questions are downstream from love for Jesus. Consider each in turn.

“Do you know me?”

Jesus could have asked, “Simon, son of John, do you know me?” This is natural because this reflects Peter’s denial. Peter denied that he knew Jesus. He denied that he had any relationship with him. So, we could have expected Jesus to ask, “Peter, do you know me?” as a sort of redo moment for Peter, who would answer, “Yes, Lord; you know that I know you.” But this doesn’t go far enough. You can know someone and be in relationship with someone and still not truly and rightly love them.

“Are you sorry for denying me?”

Jesus could have asked, “Simon, son of John, are you sorry?” This is natural to expect because when we wrong someone, we apologize. Peter sinned against Jesus, his teacher, his friend, and his Messiah. Peter should apologize. So Jesus could have asked, “Peter, are you sorry for denying me?” And Peter could have answered, “Yes, Lord; you know that I am sorry.” But this does not go far enough. You can be sorry because of the guilt you feel rather than sorry because you wronged someone you love. You can be sorry for wronging someone and at the same time not truly and rightly love them.

“Do you want my forgiveness?”

Jesus could have asked, “Simon, son of John, do you want my forgiveness?” This would be natural to expect in the same way it would be natural to expect Jesus to ask if Peter’s sorry. Peter sinned against his Messiah Jesus, and, therefore, would naturally want to apologize in order to receive forgiveness. So Jesus could have asked, “Peter, do you want my forgiveness?” To which Peter could have answered, “Yes, Lord; you know I want your forgiveness.” But again, this does not strike the heart of the matter. It is possible to want forgiveness merely for forgiveness’s sake. It is possible to want forgiveness to assuage one’s one conscience and nothing more. You can want forgiveness from someone and not want them. You can want forgiveness from someone and not truly and rightly love them.

“Will you follow and obey me?”

Jesus could have asked, “Simon, son of John, will you follow and obey me?” This would be expected because by his denial, Peter’s loyalty is now in question. So Jesus could have said, “Peter, will you follow and obey me?” To which Peter could have answered, “Yes, Lord; you know I will follow and obey you.” But once again, this question does not address the most pressing issue. For one can follow and obey out of a sense of duty and duty alone. You can follow and obey someone and not truly and rightly love them.

“Do you love me?”

So Jesus asks Peter the most important question. He asks Peter the defining question that a disciple must answer. Jesus says, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” If he loves Jesus more than anything, even his own life, then Peter will truly and rightly come to know, that is, enter fully into relationship with, Jesus. If he loves Jesus more than anything, then Peter will truly and rightly be repentant and seek forgiveness when he sins. If he loves Jesus more than anything, then Peter will truly and rightly follow and obey Jesus. Indeed, it is out of Peter’s professed loved for Jesus that Jesus then commissions him, “Feed my sheep.” The starting place for everything a disciple of Jesus is and does, is love for Jesus.

“Do YOU love me?”

And so, we are faced with same question. Do we love Jesus? Do you love Jesus? To love Jesus is to love God (John 5:42–43; John 8:42). And to love God is the greatest command given to man (Matthew 22:37–38). In fact, if we do not love Jesus more than anything else, then we cannot truly and rightly be his disciple (Matthew 10:37). Jesus has to be our greatest treasure. We have to love Jesus more than our own lives (Mark 8:34–35). Why? Because he is the greatest treasure, and he is life (Colossians 1:18). And Jesus comes to all of us and asks, “Do you love me?” Our answer to that question will define our lives for all eternity.