The Moon is Always Round: Faith in the Goodness of God After Losing a Child

[On the April 26 edition of the “Life and Books and Everything” podcast, Kevin DeYoung conducts a wide-ranging interview with Westminster Seminary professor Jonathan Gibson – author of several books, including Be Thou My Vision (which I recommended recently) and an excellent children’s book, The Moon is Always Round. DeYoung prompts Gibson to tell of the personal tragedy that led to the writing of this book. This excerpt begins 41 minutes into the podcast – Coty]

When Ben was about three, we were living in Cambridge [England]…. He loved to look up at the moon at night. So we would always hold him up at the window and look for the moon and say, “What shape is the moon, Ben?” He’d say it’s a crescent moon, half moon, three-quarter moon. Then I’d say, “What shape is the moon always?” And he would say, “The moon is always round.” I told him to say that. And then I’d say, “What does that mean?” And he would say, “God is always good.”… Even when you can’t see the whole of the moon, the moon is always round; even when you can’t understand all of God’s goodness in a certain situation in life, God is always good.

But little did I know that six months later it would be quite providential….  We were expecting our daughter, Leila, and she was due on the Lord’s Day, 20 March 2016. But on the Lord’s Day 13 March, … she departed this earth…. We woke up and Jackie said there’s something not right, so we went to the hospital and had the scan and confirmed that there was no heartbeat…. Our world fell apart…. We had always heard of these situations of … late-term … still birth, but … all of a sudden were thrust into it. Leila was still born four days later on St Patrick’s day, 17 March.…

We brought Ben to the hospital to meet her. We spent the afternoon with her and I drove him home that night…. In the car out of nowhere – he’s three and a half – he says to me from the back seat, “Daddy, will Mommy ever grow a baby that wakes up?” See, he had held Leila – he saw that she was just very still, eyes closed. I said, “Ben, I don’t know, but let’s pray that she does.” And then he said, “Why isn’t Leila coming home?” And I said, “Well, because Jesus called her name and she went to Him.” And he said, “After she’s been with Jesus for a few days, will she come to us?” And I said, “No, Ben, when you’re with Jesus you don’t want to go anywhere else.” And then he said, “Does she not like us?” And I said, “No, she does like us, she just likes Jesus more…. We’re going to have to go to them one day. She’s not coming back to us.”… And Ben said, “Daddy, why isn’t she coming home?”… I said, “Ben, I don’t really know why, but … you remember the moon? What shape is the moon, Ben?” And he said, “The moon is always round.” And I said, “What does that mean?” He said, “God is always good.” And I said, “Tonight, Ben, it’s hard to see the moon at all really, but we’ve got to remember that God is good and He has His reason why Leila’s gone to heaven.”…

It was actually quite a joyful day to meet Leila – nine months expectation. To meet her, to hold her…. We could see God’s goodness and giving us a daughter. We got to meet her, name her. But then there was this other half of the moon I couldn’t see…. I couldn’t believe the profound conversation I’d had with Ben in the car…. I just decided to start writing this kid’s story…. So hence was born the book The Moon is Always Round….

At her funeral, … Ian Hamilton had this throwaway line where he said Leila’s was a glorious testimony. She pointed us all to God, she pointed us all to another world. And then he … said, “Leila the evangelist.” That’s what we call her. We hear quite often throughout the year letters, emails from people who have been blessed by that book who’ve sadly had similar experiences, and we just always think Leila the evangelist, she being dead yet speaks….

They did an autopsy afterwards and found nothing wrong with her. Fifty percent of stillbirths are a mystery to the medical profession….

So good has come out of it. The moon is always round. The Lord has used our sore providence to minister to others. We still miss her greatly. We just had our sixth anniversary of her not being with us….

Each person’s valley is their valley and I think that’s what people need to respect and be aware of…. With a still birth you get to meet them, you get to hold them, you get to see who they look like. You carry their little body in a white coffin into church, you put that body in a grave. In that sense it gives them great dignity…. On my books … it says I have four children, and Leila’s one of those four…. One of the great pains for a parent is we all love to talk about our children, we love to put photos up of them on Twitter, Facebook, email them to people. But nobody gets to see your stillborn child, and that’s a great sadness…. You think I’ve only got three children. I have four children. I held my daughter.

Doug Kelly wrote to me whenever Leila died. He had a still birth, a sixth child, and he wrote to me, “You have just been given the strange stewardship of a quiet grief.” I’ve never forgotten that line. I have friends at seminary here, … and their daughter is six years old and I’ll often look at their girl and I’ll think, wow, Leila would be running around with her…. But she’s not here. So it’s this hidden grief that’s very hard to articulate at times, but it’s very real. And the encouragement I give to people is: If you know someone who’s lost a stillborn child, ask them their name…. Just to ask them their name and use their name in conversation if you’re talking about the child. Don’t just talk about the baby they lost or we’re sorry for your loss… Say, “We’re sorry Leila died.” … Be personal and talk about them like they’re actually a real person, because they are….

Look up in the sky. You can’t see the moon tonight. You see just a sliver, but it’s not any less round, it’s not any less brilliant than it always is.

[You can watch and listen to Ben – several years older – read the book at this link.]

 

Reflections Growing Out of the Recent Epidemic by Francis Grimke

[Born into slavery on a South Carolina plantation in 1850, Grimke served as a pastor for 50 years, primarily at Fifteenth Street Presbyterian Church in Washington DC. This devotion is taken from a sermon he preached November 3, 1918, when churches were allowed once again to meet after several weeks of closure because of the Spanish Flu epidemic. The entire sermon – more than twice as long – is available here.]

We know now … the meaning of the terms pestilence, plague, epidemic, since we have been passing through this terrible scourge of Spanish influenza, with its enormous death rate and its consequent wretchedness and misery. Every part of the land has felt its deadly touch…. Over the whole land it has thrown a gloom, and has stricken down such large numbers that it has been difficult to care for them properly, overcrowding all of our hospitals…. Our own beautiful city has suffered terribly from it, making it necessary, as a precautionary measure, to close the schools, theaters, churches, and to forbid all public gathering within doors as well as outdoors. At last, however, the scourge has been stayed, and we are permitted again to resume the public worship of God, and to open again the schools of our city.

Now that the worst is over, I have been thinking … of these calamitous weeks through which we have been passing—thinking of the large numbers that have been sick— the large numbers that have died, the many, many homes that have been made desolate—the many, many bleeding, sorrowing hearts that have been left behind, and I have been asking myself the question, what is the meaning of it all? What ought it to mean to us? Is it to come and go and we be no wiser, or better for it? Surely God had a purpose in it, and it is our duty to find out, as far as we may, what that purpose is, and try to profit by it.

Among the things which stand out in my own mind … are these:

(1) I have been impressed with the ease with which large portions of the population may be wiped out in spite of the skill of man, of all the resources of science.… How easy it would be for God to wipe out the whole human race … if he wanted to; for these terrible epidemics, plagues, the mighty forces of nature, all are at his command, all are his agents. At any moment, if he willed it, in this way, vast populations or portions of populations could be destroyed.

(2) I have had also this question come into my mind, why of those who took the disease some recovered and others did not? The reason may be found, in one sense, in purely natural causes— some were physically better prepared to resist the disease, were stronger in vital power, and so pulled through. Others, not having sufficient vitality, went down under the strain; but I believe there is also another reason, and is to be found in the will of God.… Some day we have all got to go, but how, or when, or where, we do not know; that is with God alone. In Job 12:10, we read:

In whose hand is the soul of every living thing, and the breath of all mankind.

We speak of accidental deaths, … but there are no accidents with God. All things are within the scope of his providence….

(3) Another question similar to the above kept also constantly going through my mind, why are some taken with the disease and others not? … The ultimate explanation must be found in the sovereign will of God. It must be because He wills it.

(4) Another thing that has impressed me, in connection with this epidemic, is the fact that conditions may arise in a community which justify the extraordinary exercise of powers that would not be tolerated under ordinary circumstances. This extraordinary exercise of power was resorted to by the Commissioners in closing up the theaters, schools, churches, in forbidding all gatherings of any considerable number of people indoors and outdoors, and in restricting the numbers who should be present even at funerals. The ground of the exercise of this extraordinary power was found in the imperative duty of the officials to safeguard, as far as possible, the health of the community by preventing the spread of the disease from which we were suffering….

And so, anxious as I have been to resume work, I have waited patiently until the order was lifted.…

(5) Another thing that has impressed me in connection with this epidemic is how completely it has shattered the theory, so dear to the heart of the white man in this country, that a white skin entitles its possessor to better treatment than one who possesses a dark skin.…

In this terrible epidemic, which has afflicted not only this city but the whole country, there is a great lesson for the white man to learn. It is the folly of his stupid color prejudice. It calls attention to the fact that he is acting on a principle that God utterly repudiates, as he has shown during this epidemic scourge, and, as he will show him when He comes to deal with him in the judgment of the great day of solemn account….

(6) Another thing has impressed me during this epidemic. It has brought out in a way that is very gratifying, the high estimation in which the Christian church is held in the community—the large place which it really occupies in the thought of the people. The fact that for several weeks we have been shut out from the privileges of the sanctuary has brought home to us as never before what the church has really meant to us. We hadn’t thought, perhaps, very much of the privilege while it lasted, but the moment it was taken away we saw at once how much it meant to us….

(7) There is another thing connected with this epidemic that is also worthy of note. While it lasted, it kept the thought of death and of eternity constantly before the people. As the papers came out, day after day, among the first things that everyone looked for, or asked about, was as to the number of deaths. And so the thought of death was never allowed to stay very long out of the consciousness of the living. And with the thought of death, the great thought also of eternity, for it is through death that the gates of eternity swing open…. The grim messenger is God’s summons to us to render up our account. That there is an account to be rendered up we are inclined to lose sight of, to forget; but it is to be rendered all the same. The books are to be opened, and we are to be judged out of the books. During the weeks of this epidemic—in the long list of deaths, in the large number of new-made graves, in the unusual number of funeral processions along our streets, God has been reminding us of this account which we must soon render up; He has been projecting before us in a way to startle us, the thought of eternity.

You who are not Christians, who have not yet repented of your sins, who have not yet surrendered yourselves to the guidance of Jesus Christ, if you allow these repeated warnings that you have had, day by day, week by week, to go unheeded—if you still go on in your sins, should God suddenly cut you off in your sins, you will have no one to blame but yourselves…. God has opened the way for your salvation, through the gift of His only begotten Son, who died that you might have the opportunity of making your peace with God…. Before you go out of this house make up your minds to do the right thing—the wise thing—the only sensible thing. You have come out of this epidemic alive, while thousands have perished. Are you going to spend the rest of your days in the service of sin and Satan, or in the service of God? You know what you ought to do; you know what you will do, if you consult your best interest—if you do the right thing.

(8) There is only one other thought that has come to me in connection with this epidemic; it is of the blessedness … of the sense of security which a true, living, working faith in the Lord Jesus Christ gives one in the midst of life’s perils. I felt … the blessedness of a firm grip upon Jesus Christ—the blessedness of a realizing sense of being anchored in God and in His precious promises. While the plague was raging, while thousands were dying, what a comfort it was to feel that we were in the hands of a loving Father who was looking out for us, who had given us the great assurance that all things should work together for our good. And, therefore, that come what would—whether we were smitten with the epidemic or not, or whether being smitten, we survived or perished, we knew it would be well with us, that there was no reason to be alarmed. Even if death came, we knew it was all right. The apostle says, “it is gain for me to die.” Death had no terrors for him….

In the presence of such a faith, in the realization of God’s love, as revealed in Jesus Christ, in the consciousness of fellowship with him, what are epidemics, what are scourges, what are all of life’s trials, sufferings, disappointments? They only tend to work out for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory. But, of course, if faith is to help us; if it is to put its great strong arms under us; if we are to feel its sustaining power under such distressing circumstances, it must be a real, living faith in God …—a faith that works, that works by love, and that purifies the heart. Any other faith is of absolutely no value to us in the midst of the great crises of life…. [Now] is a good time for those of us who are Christians to examine ourselves to see exactly how it is with us, … whether our faith is really resting upon Christ, the solid Rock, or not….

If, as the result of such examination, we find that we did not get out of our religion very much help, in bracing us up under the strain through which we have been passing, then we know that there is something wrong: either we have no faith at all, or it is very weak…. Or, if we find that we were helped, that our fears were allayed as we thought of our relations to God and to his Son Jesus Christ, then we have an additional reason why we should cling all the closer to him, and why we should be all the more earnest in our efforts to serve him. We ought to come out of this epidemic more determined than ever to run with patience the race that is set before us; more determined than ever to make heaven our home….

Let us all draw near to God in simple faith. Let us re-consecrate ourselves, all of us, to him….

 

Death is Dead!

Last Sunday we sang the great hymn, “Crown Him with Many Crowns” by Matthew Bridges. Here is one of the verses:

Crown Him the Lord of life,
Who triumphed over the grave,
And rose victorious in the strife
For those He came to save.
His glories now we sing,
Who died, and rose on high,
Who died eternal life to bring,
And lives that death may die.

Jesus died and now lives “that death may die.” This is a major theme throughout the history of redemption: The coming of death into the world, God’s plan to overcome death, Jesus’ victory over death, and the final destruction of death. Here is a selection of key passages on that theme. Read them and meditate on them. May those meditations enrich your worship not only Friday evening and Sunday morning, but throughout your life, as you rejoice in God’s promise: Death will die!

  • Genesis 2:16-17  The LORD God commanded the man, saying, “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden,  but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.” (The first mention of death in the Bible).
  • Genesis 3:4-6  But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die.  For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”  So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.
  • Genesis 3:21  The LORD God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skins and clothed them. (Implying a death took place, possibly the first sacrifice).
  • Genesis 5:5 Thus all the days that Adam lived were 930 years, and he died.
  • Genesis 22:10-13  Then Abraham reached out his hand and took the knife to slaughter his son.  But the angel of the LORD called to him from heaven and said, “Abraham, Abraham!” And he said, “Here am I.”  He said, “Do not lay your hand on the boy or do anything to him, for now I know that you fear God, seeing you have not withheld your son, your only son, from me.”  And Abraham lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, behind him was a ram, caught in a thicket by his horns. And Abraham went and took the ram and offered it up as a burnt offering instead of his son. (The death of a substitute instead of Isaac; this imagery continues to develop in the sacrificial system described in Exodus and Leviticus, and culminates at the Cross.)
  • Isaiah 53:10-12 It was the will of the LORD to crush him; he has put him to grief; when his soul makes an offering for guilt, he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days; the will of the LORD shall prosper in his hand.  Out of the anguish of his soul he shall see and be satisfied; by his knowledge shall the righteous one, my servant, make many to be accounted righteous, and he shall bear their iniquities.  Therefore I will divide him a portion with the many, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong, because he poured out his soul to death and was numbered with the transgressors; yet he bore the sin of many, and makes intercession for the transgressors. (The death of the suffering Servant instead of the transgressors.)
  • Isaiah 25:8 He will swallow up death forever; and the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from all faces. (A key verse for the New Testament authors.)
  • John 11:25-26  “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live,  and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die.” (Jesus prophesies the death of death.)
  • John 19:30  When Jesus had received the sour wine, he said, “It is finished,” and he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.
  • Luke 24:5-7  “Why do you seek the living among the dead?  He is not here, but has risen. Remember how he told you, while he was still in Galilee,  that the Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men and be crucified and on the third day rise.”
  • Hebrews 2:14-15  Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil,  and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery.
  • 2 Timothy 1:10 Our Savior Christ Jesus . . . abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel.
  • Romans 5:20-21  Where sin increased, grace abounded all the more,  so that, as sin reigned in death, grace also might reign through righteousness leading to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
  • Romans 6:3-5  Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death?  We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.  For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his.
  • Romans 6:9-11 We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him. For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God.  So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.
  • Romans 6:23  The wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
  • 1 Corinthians 15:24-26  Then comes the end, when he delivers the kingdom to God the Father after destroying every rule and every authority and power.  For he must reign until he has put all his enemies under his feet.  The last enemy to be destroyed is death.
  • 1 Corinthians 15:53-54  For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality.  When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written: “Death is swallowed up in victory.”  (Quoting Isaiah 25:8 above)
  • Revelation 1:17-18 When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. But he laid his right hand on me, saying, “Fear not, I am the first and the last, and the living one. I died, and behold I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of Death and Hades.
  • Revelation 20:14  Then Death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. This is the second death, the lake of fire.
  • Revelation 21:4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” (Another allusion to Isaiah 25:8)

May we indeed crown Him the Lord of life, and rejoice that He has destroyed the last enemy, death itself.

Our Incurable Disease

You have an incurable disease. All humans do. We inherited this disease from our parents, and they from their parents – all the way back to Adam and Eve.

There is no human help for this disease. Oh, we can alleviate a few of the symptoms through discipline, through accountability, through learning more self-control – but this disease is similar to the hydra of Greek mythology. When anyone cut off one of the hydra’s heads, two more immediately grew. When you learn to control one part of your disease – say, bursts of anger – more symptoms of the disease pop up – say, pride and arrogance.

But God in His grace and mercy offers you a cure. The question is: Will you accept it?

Scripture provides us with an apt picture of the way we are prone to resist this cure through telling the story of a leper in 2 Kings 5.

In the ancient world, leprosy was incurable. Naaman, a general in a powerful army, comes down with this disease. An Israelite servant girl in his household tells his wife of a prophet in Israel who can cure the disease. So Naaman’s king writes a letter to the King of Israel, telling him to cure Naaman of his leprosy.

The Israelite king is distraught, thinking the other is looking for a pretense to go to war. But when the prophet Elisha hears of the events, he tells the king to send Naaman to him.

Naaman arrives at Elisha’s place, bearing many gifts – he is a wealthy man and thinks he can pay handsomely for this service. He is an important man, and thinks this prophet will be impressed by his presence.

But Elisha doesn’t even come out to see Naaman. He simply sends a messenger, who instructs the general to go wash in the Jordan River seven times, and he will be cured. Hear Naaman’s response:

But Naaman was angry and went away, saying, “Behold, I thought that he would surely come out to me and stand and call upon the name of the Lord his God, and wave his hand over the place and cure the leper. Are not Abana and Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? Could I not wash in them and be clean?” So he turned and went away in a rage (2 Kings 5:11-12).

Naaman’s pride almost causes him to miss this grace from God. But God shows him even greater grace, as He leads Naaman’s servants to appeal to him to try this simple task the prophet gave him. He washes seven times in the Jordan – and is cured.

Just so with us. God offers us healing of our incurable disease if we only turn to Jesus and trust Him with our lives. But so often we are like Naaman: We don’t like God’s plan. We want to prove our worth through some great deed we do for God. Or we want God to perform some grand visible miracle that will call attention to us. Or we want God to cure the disease in a different way, a way that seems better to us. “Just trust Jesus? Why? Why not some other way? Why not many other ways? How simplistic!”

Like Naaman, we can turn our backs and miss God’s grace because of our pride, because of our preconceived ideas about how God should work.

But praise God that He persists in the offer of the Gospel. As in Naaman’s case, He sends others to us to say again and again, “Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved” (Acts 16:31).

Don’t despise the miracle of simple faith. Admit you are diseased. Confess that you cannot cure yourself. And throw yourself on God’s mercy offered to you through Jesus Christ.

When you, like Naaman, humble yourself before the One True God, He will save you – through the death, resurrection, and reign of the Lord Jesus Christ. And you will discover the love, joy, and peace you have so deeply desired.

Resurrection is Sweet, Death is Painful

[I wrote this devotion in Holy Week, 2006. I’m now older than the friend I call John was when he died. Don’t wait. – Coty]

This week we remember and celebrate the death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus. Resurrection is sweet. Death is painful.

Personally, the reality and pain of death have hit me twice this week. Tuesday, I flipped through the alumni magazine from my undergraduate alma mater, and found to my surprise that my freshman roommate Rick had died in February at the age of 50. This morning, after an out-of-the-blue internet search, I stumbled across the information that a friend and colleague from my days as an economist – whom I’ll call John – had died last July at the age of 61.

I had only seen my freshman roommate once since graduation – at a reunion a couple of years ago. I was much closer to John. While he and I never shared a room, we worked together for over a dozen years, co-authoring several papers, presenting at conferences together, and jointly running a Masters degree program in development economics. Even after my call to the ministry, he tried to hire me as an economist. Last April a recruiter called, attempting to entice me back into economics; I’m 99.9% sure John was behind that.

I looked up to John in many ways. He was the ideal development economist, with a solid grasp both of economic theory and of the real world issues facing poor countries. A father of four, he always made time in his busy schedule to be with his children. And they thrived – one became a Rhodes Scholar. His infectious enthusiasm spurred many around him to become more than they ever thought they could be. He was ready to listen and give feedback on a wide range of topics. We had not regularly spoken to each other these last four years, but knowing now that I can’t call him, that I will never again hear his encouraging voice and hearty laugh, is painful.

For, unless something changed in his last months of life, John did not believe in Jesus. He was quite spiritual in the postmodern American sense, and considered “spirituality” to be something that we shared – but he did not recognize Jesus as His Savior, Lord, and treasure.

This man and I sharpened each other professionally; we edited each other’s words; we each made the other a better economist; we discussed how to better serve our students, how to improve our institution; we talked about fathering and marriage and, yes, spiritual issues.

But today I only ask myself: What more should I have said? How could I have better lived out and communicated to him the beauty of our Savior – the glories of the One who died on a cross on Friday and rose from the dead on Sunday, who is seated at the right hand of God the Father Almighty and who will come again . . . who will come again, this time to judge the living and the dead?

Life is short, my friends. O, life is short! Regardless of your efforts, you yourself may have only days left. (John was an athlete as a young man and kept himself in good physical condition all his life. Yet he died of a heart attack – while exercising.) Are you confident of your status before God the Father, the King of the Universe? Throw yourself on His mercy!

Are you His? Then spread a passion for His supremacy in all things! Don’t wait! Don’t dawdle! Don’t procrastinate! Be winsome – but be bold. Be tactful – but be forthright. Choose the right moment – but know that that moment must be soon! Today is the day of salvation!

No one comes to the Father except through Jesus Christ. There is no other name under heaven by which we must be saved.

To love your neighbor as yourself surely means to respect their beliefs and to be cordial. But it surely also means to share with them the only way under heaven by which they can be saved from God’s eternal wrath. It surely means to share with them the purpose for which they were created, the joy that can be theirs for all eternity.

Resurrection is sweet. Death is painful. Your time may be short. The time for your neighbors, family, and friends may be short. Don’t live with regret. Even this weekend, speak the word of God’s grace; proclaim the Gospel to those around you.

Don’t wait.

Reflections on the Death of a Cat

Tuesday we put down our 19-year-old cat, Madison.

We got Madison from a shelter when he was a few weeks old. He had big eyes, a cute face, and a playful spirit. Our youngest son, Joel, was two. Over the next few years, Joel regularly would throw Madison over his shoulder and carry him around the house. Madison peered at us, wide-eyed, asking to be saved from this terror of a boy – but not scratching, ever.

At age 3, traumatized and in shock after an attack by a large canine, Madison stayed downstairs in our Massachusetts basement for weeks, recovering. After that, I don’t think he was ever sick for a day.

Until Monday. He was sluggish. He wailed. He vomited – first his food, then clear liquid.

Tuesday, he was in obvious distress. The vet thought he knew what was wrong; he could do a series of procedures for an estimated $1000 that he thought would solve the problem. The prognosis was good, but not definite. The problem might reoccur. Madison might only live a few more months. Or he might live several more years. Beth and I spoke on the phone; we put him down. I stroked Madison’s cheek while the vet injected him with barbiturates.

Now, as encounters with death go, this was quite minor. A cat – even a beloved pet – is a cat. In what follows, I’m not drawing any degree of equivalence between a cat’s death and a person’s death. Nevertheless, Madison’s demise prompted me to reflect more widely on the way our culture – and I myself – speak of and respond to death. So here are some thoughts:

I have little firsthand experience with death. I have never been in the presence of a person when he or she died. A few hours before death, and minutes afterward, yes. But never at the point itself.

I suspect my lack of experience is common for Americans. We live sanitized lives. We know death is certain, but, for many, it is hidden, shrouded, filed away from consciousness – something we encounter in theaters and in television and in books, but not in our day-to-day lives. In this way we fail to come to terms with our own mortality: Unless Jesus returns in the next few decades, I will die. Like Madison, my breathing will cease, my heart will stop.  I will die.

Our sanitized lives extend to the euphemisms we use when referring to death – even of our pets. Did you notice the euphemism I used above? “We put him down.” Well. I “put Madison down” when he was “making biscuits” on my thighs, sticking his claws into me. What happened Tuesday was rather more significant than that. And note the use of the first person plural, deflecting responsibility from myself. I could have said straightforwardly, “I told the vet to kill my cat.” But we almost never use such language. We soften the blow.

Scripture usually is quite straightforward about death. “On the day you eat of it you shall surely die” (Genesis 2:17). Eight times in Genesis 5, we read, “And he died.” Job’s children all die in a building collapse (Job 1:18-19). The patriarchs all die. David dies. Solomon dies. Most of all, Jesus dies.

Thus, “Because of one man’s trespass, death reigned through that one man” (Romans 5:17). Yet here in the US for so much of the time we can live our lives pretending that death only reigns theoretically, only reigns in films and television and literature. Even the death of a cat can challenge that pretension.

We use euphemisms and fail to speak frankly about death in order to help those encountering death, attempting to be kind and caring. Yet is it really kind and caring to act as if death is not ever-present, not threatening?

For when we downplay death, we inevitably downplay the resurrection.

For the Bible’s answer to the severity of death, to the horror of death, is not to soften the language and to help people to maintain an illusion of safety and immortality in this earthly existence. The Bible’s answer to the threat of death is to look it in the eye, to admit its horrors – and then to show us God’s plan of redemption, through Jesus’ death and resurrection!

For Jesus was dead, really dead. It was painful. It was horrible. His lungs filled with fluid. His breathing stopped. His heart stopped. He was dead.

And yet: God raised Him from the dead.

Imagine my reaction had I gone out early this morning to Madison’s little grave in our backyard, and found the dirt moved away, the hole empty – and imagine I then felt Madison rubbing against my leg! “He’s alive! He’s here! In the flesh! How did that happen? How can this possibly be? Yet here he is – furry and warm and purring and cuddly!”

How incomparably greater the joy and amazement of the disciples upon seeing the risen Jesus!

My friends, God promises to “swallow up death forever” (Isaiah 25:8). Jesus has
“broken the power of death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel” (2 Timothy 1:10 NET). If we downplay the power of death, if we downplay death as “the last enemy” (1 Corinthians 15:26), we downplay the power of the resurrection and the accomplishment of Jesus.

God did not create us for death. For His people, for those united to His Son, for those who believe in His Name, who walk according to the Spirit, He promises: “The time will come when death will be no more. The old order will pass away. I will wipe every tear from your eyes. Everlasting joy shall be upon your heads” (Revelation 21:4, Isaiah 35:10).

Death entered the world because of sin. It is the last enemy.

But we, in Christ, can look death in the eye. We can acknowledge its power.

And we can know that He who mightily raised Jesus from the dead will give life to our mortal bodies, so that we too might have eternal life (Romans 8:11). Praise God for the Gospel.

Reflections on the Loss of a Daughter

[Dr Fred Zaspel is pastor at the Reformed Baptist Church of Franconia, PA and Professor of Systematic Theology at Calvary Baptist Seminary in Lansdale, PA. He posted these thoughts on the October 31 death of his daughter at credomag.com on November 13. This is an edited version; the entire post is well worth reading. Credo Magazine has many helpful articles. The latest issue focuses on the grand story of the Bible.  – Coty]

For a dozen or so years our daughter, Gina, suffered unspeakably from more maladies and on more levels — physical and otherwise — than I could begin adequately to explain. The infection that ravished her central nervous system, the years of sleeplessness, the constant nausea, the passing out and the many falls and concussions that came as a result, the severe and relentless headache pain, the haunting hallucinations, the struggles with confusion, the blood clots, the systemic infections, and so very much more, all in the extreme, made her life the most severely agonized I have ever witnessed. Amazingly — yet true to form — she found moments of laughter almost daily, and we delighted in her company even while hurting for her. But the suffering became increasingly severe on so many fronts. And as we watched her suffer, how we prayed, often in despair, that God would deliver her from it all.

About three years ago he did. In a dramatic and miraculous moment the disease was gone, and for a short while it seemed her life had been returned to her. But further setbacks were to follow. The suffering again became intense and unspeakable. Until finally, on Thursday, October 31, it was all over. Forever. Gina is now with the Lord.

At several points over the years it seemed she was dying, but then she would rally. And on occasions she and even we could have wished it for her sake — her suffering was so awful, death would have been considered a mercy. We still feel all that, but nothing could have prepared us for the pain we now feel over our loss. She was Daddy’s girl, Mommy’s soul mate, and brother’s very closest friend. We are a very close family, and we loved Gina more than words could ever express — and we told her so many, many times every day, verbally and with countless hugs and kisses. Surely a day will never pass, in this life, without sensing this deep, gaping hole in our hearts. We just cannot imagine life without Gina. How we loved her.

I have often suspected over the years that Christians who romanticize death have likely never experienced the loss of a close loved one. Death remains a dreaded and a devastating enemy, and there is just no way to make it pretty. It still stings, deeply so, and when it comes close like this it leaves us feeling all but completely undone.

Yet for Christians there truly is a difference. And during this past week since Gina passed, agonizing as it has been, we have learned first-hand that we really do not sorrow as those who have no hope. The weighty promises and massive truths that God has revealed to us in his Word truly are life-shaping and soul anchoring, and they provide a sure point of reference for even the most hurting heart.

United to Christ by faith Gina belonged — and belongs — to God. And through the years of her suffering we reminded ourselves often that the God who in grace had rescued her in Christ from sin loves her even more than we do. And so we trust his providence. He is too wise ever to make a mistake, and too good ever to do us wrong. And we acknowledge that just as he was free and sovereign in giving Gina to us 29 years ago, so now he is free and sovereign — and good and just — in taking her. He has not wronged us. Indeed, not only do we affirm this great truth — we rest in it. This God is himself our Father, a Father who knows what is best for his children and faithfully directs our lives accordingly. Moreover, he is the Father who in love one day gave up his own Son to bear our curse in order to redeem us to himself. Yes, of course there are many “Why?” questions that we cannot answer, but we lack no proof of God’s love or his goodness. And we bless him today with deeper passion than ever.

We are so very grateful not only that God gave us our daughter for 29 years, but also that in grace he saved her and made her his own. This is really everything — everything — and we recognize that we are blessed to know that Gina is rejoicing today in the presence of our great Redeemer. How she loved him! How she loved the gospel. Gina was marked by passion in everything she did, but nothing so stirred her like the gospel of Christ. She loved to hear it, she loved to learn it more deeply, she loved to sing it, and she loved to share it with others. Her whole hope was in Christ. Virtually every day, even in much pain, she would sit down at the piano to play and sing and refresh her aching soul with some of her favorite songs about Christ, God’s love in Christ, salvation in Christ, God’s faithful love and providence, and the glory that awaits us. And this same gospel is what assures us still. And we rejoice that neither death nor life nor anything else in all God’s creation could ever separate Gina or us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

And we have come better to appreciate that our hope in Christ is not for this life only. We eagerly await the day of Christ’s return when we will rejoice together in his glorious presence and discover for ourselves that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that will then be revealed in us. . . .

We are hurting for our loss. The pain is massive, and on one level I’m sure it will never be absent in this life. But deep as this hurt is, we are not left adrift. With minds and hearts shaped by gospel truth, with the love of God marvelously shed abroad in our hearts by his Spirit, with confidence in his unerring providence, and with an unshakable joy and hope in Christ, God has given us more than all we will need. . . .

 

The Death of a Hero

Who are your heroes? Who sets an example that you want to follow?

One of my heroes is Sundara Rao. The father of Vijay Sastry (who visited DGCC two years ago), Sundara died in Hyderabad, India earlier this week. He was 58.

Sundara spoke little English. He had no higher education. But he was a man who did all to the glory of God. He was a man whose joy in Jesus was sparklingly evident. He was a man who out of that joy left all and followed Jesus – whatever the cost.

Born into a high-caste Hindu family, Sundara came to know Jesus as a 17-year-old, while seriously ill with typhoid. During weeks of illness, he prayed to god after god. He rejected the offer of a local pastor to come and pray for him. But after his condition continued to grow worse and worse, he relented. When the pastor came, Sundara was drifting in and out of consciousness; he only heard bits and pieces of the pastor’s words. But he prayed to this pastor’s God: “If you are the real god, save me, and I will give my life to you.”

God did save him, both physically and spiritually. Sundara then eagerly studied the Bible to learn of this God – and came to understand that it is only through the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross that any human can come before God. He embraced Jesus as Lord and Savior, and savored Him as his treasure.

But this devotion to Christ had a high cost. Sundara’s father told him he could not be a Christian. Sundara tried to honor his father – to express his devotion and love – but said that if he had to choose between his family and Jesus, he must choose Jesus. So Sundara was disowned, and sent out with nothing.

After a period of discipleship and training, Sundara became a pastor. Several years later he went to the village of Ventrapragada to plant a church. He began by ministering practically to the lower castes, living in their section of the village. Those of higher caste were unhappy to see one of their own mingling with those of lower caste, and approached him, offering him a place to stay in their section of the village. Sundara declined, saying he would live with those he was serving. Later the same higher caste folks asked him to come and teach them about Jesus. Sundara declined to hold separate meetings, saying they were welcome to his meetings with the lower caste folks. Jesus, he said, broke down all those barriers of caste and race. None came – for about a decade. But as Sundara cared for the sick of all castes and persevered in showing the love of Jesus to all, eventually those of higher castes began to come. The church today includes men and women from all caste backgrounds. As one elderly, high-caste villager said, “When you’re a Hindu, caste is everything. When you’re a Christian, Jesus is everything.”

Serving predominantly poor people, Sundara and his family had little to live on. But God provided for their needs – through gifts and, when necessary, through Sundara’s work as a laborer in farmers’ fields. On such days, after hours and hours of backbreaking labor,  Sundara would come home, clean up, and go out to serve the poor and the sick, or to hold an evangelistic meeting.

From early days, Sundara invested in young men. Seeing the need for church planters and pastors all around him, he cast vision, offered training, and challenged personally many youth to take their faith seriously and to go out for the sake of the Name. Over the years, dozens of churches were planted from this small village church.

God eventually used Sundara’s son Vijay to multiply the church planting ministry into what is today Reach All Nations. I met Vijay in Minneapolis in early 2009, and first met his father that summer. I have since participated in several pastors conferences and church planter training sessions with them.

Two years ago, Sundara suffered a stroke that left him almost blind and partially paralyzed. Yet he fought back, and was able to participate in preaching and training once again. Last month he suffered a major setback, and had to be rushed to Hyderabad. He seemed to be on the mend until right before he died. “Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints” (Psalm 116:15). Sundara had finished his race. He kept the faith. He has received his crown.

Consider these Scriptural commands and exhortations in light of Sundara’s life:

Matthew 10:37-39  Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.  38 And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.  39 Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

2 Corinthians 5:14-15 For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; 15 and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.

Philippians 3:7-8 But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. 8 Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ.

2 Timothy 4:6-8  For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.

Will you pray with me?

Thank You, Father God, for Sundara, Your servant. Thank you for giving me the privilege of seeing so many biblical truths lived out in Sundara’s life. Thank You for saving him, for providing for him, for spurring him on to serve you with all his heart. O Father, may the ministry of Reach All Nations continue to build on the foundation Sundara laid, glorifying Your Name more than ever among the peoples of India. And may that same spirit of selfless giving shine through me and all of us at DGCC. May we be similarly focused and devoted to You, loving one another, serving those around us faithfully, proclaiming the Gospel with our lives and with our words – that we might live for Christ, count all else as rubbish, and love His appearing. Amen.

Why Did Jesus Have to Die?

(For a version of this devotion that is easier to print, see this link.)

Why did Jesus have to die?

Tomorrow we remember the death of Jesus on the cross. There are many possible perspectives on this event: It was a tragedy, as an innocent man suffered horribly at the hand of His enemies; it is an example to us, as Jesus focused not on Himself but on others; it is a major event in world history, as Christianity was born at the cross.

But there have been millions and millions of innocent people put to death. There are other ways for God to give us good examples, and other important events in history. These perspectives don’t answer the question: Why did Jesus have to die?

The third chapter of Romans provides us with the threefold answer:

  • Jesus had to die because man is thoroughly sinful;
  • Jesus had to die because God desires to display His perfect justice;
  • Jesus had to die because God desires to display His perfect love and mercy. (more…)

Tony Snow, Death and Life

Tony Snow died of colon cancer this morning at the age of 53. He is best known as President Bush’s former Press Secretary.

But Tony and I first met 35 years ago, when were freshmen at Davidson College. We both loved philosophy, and had several courses together. Tony was a voracious reader, a quick thinker, and a prolific writer. Full of energy, full of ideas, adventurous in spirit, he clearly had an interesting life ahead of him. I took a year off between our junior and senior years, going to Kenya to teach secondary school. That year changed my life, as I focused for the next two decades on issues of economic development, spending several years overseas.  Tony corresponded with me while I was in Kenya, and, intrigued, decided to go himself the next year. He taught at the same school. (more…)