What is missing in your life? What ability or possession or position or relationship would you really like to have?
Asking such questions can be either positive or negative. Positive, if the unmet desires lead to your working hard to improve yourself, to become a better friend, to grow as a valued worker, to fulfill who God has made you to be.
But often these questions lead us in a negative direction. We develop a sense of entitlement that easily morphs into self-pity: “I should have all these blessings! I’m missing out on so much! Poor me!”
Indeed, our cup can be overflowing with the wine of goodness and mercy, but we are annoyed because it’s not Coca-Cola.
That attitude transforms us into miserable people. For no matter how much good is in our lives, we focus much more on what we lack. And we become adept at coming up with a long list every day.
I’ve often had to fight this tendency in my own life. For example: one day 25 years ago while serving at a seminary in Cameroon, I was scheduled to preach in the morning chapel service. Having finished the manuscript after rising early, I hit “print.” Nothing happened. I fiddled with the printer for a while but couldn’t get it to work. With time to the service rapidly diminishing, I trudged to the office carrying my laptop, hoping the printer there would connect. Along the way I was grumbling, complaining to God: “I’ve worked hard to prepare a good sermon, and now I may not even have a manuscript. How can You expect me to preach well when so much goes wrong right before the service? Why can’t I have a decent and reliable printer?”
Mercifully, God stopped me in my tracks, showing me the foolishness of my attitude. It was as if He said, “Stop and think. In the history of the church, how many preachers have had a printer? How many have had a laptop? And these students to whom you are preaching: How many will ever have a laptop or a printer? I have given you the great privilege of opening up My Word to pastors who are eager to hear. What do you have to grumble about?”
I actually don’t remember whether the office printer worked or not. But by God’s grace I was able to preach to His glory.
Instead of living with that sense of entitlement, Scripture encourages us to consider ourselves as undeserving, and every good we encounter or obtain as a token of grace – from God and from others. With that attitude, we naturally are grateful for each token:
- [Give] thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ (Ephesians 5:20).
- Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you (1 Thessalonians 5:18, emphasis added).
- What do you have that you did not receive? (1 Corinthians 4:7).
Remind yourself of that last question regularly. Where does life and breath and sun and sleep and health and strength and work and love and family and friendship come from? All are among the good and perfect gifts that come down from the Father of lights (James 1:17) – and since He never changes, such goodness and mercy will follow those united to Jesus all the days of our lives, and we will dwell in His house forever (Psalm 23:6).
Rather than being miserable day after day, we then become thankful and joyous. For our eyes are open to see gifts all around us.
Yes, we will continue to have unmet desires. Channel them positively into growing as a person and as a worker. But remind yourself daily: “I deserve nothing but God’s wrath. By God’s good grace, I receive His gifts today and can live to His glory. Thank You, Lord! I praise You!”
